Friday 2 July 2010

The one about the "Random Facebook Happening"

I have One whole best friend in the World , everybody else is a good mate or just an aquaintance . Now in this day and age I keep in touch with people via Facebook . It has become a good social tool for arranging nights out and harvesting pictures . Now my best friend , Thomas , is not a prolific Facebook user , he puts in an appearance once in a while and when he does ...... it gets very random . His wife , Dawn , tends to monitor this from time to time to ride the crest of crazyness that can occur from these moments . His latest craze is mentioning "Stilton Hammers" , they don`t exist obviously . I must admit I tend to Fuel Tommy`s crazy Facebookery and this is what occurred tonight .

Tommy logs in and changes his status .

Thomas : HAMMER TIME!!!
Dawn : put the hammer away, now you know it's wrong ......
xXBADGERXx : Stilton Hammers ?
Thomas : of course stilton, why? do they make them from other unhammer worthy materials like cake?
xXBADGERXx : Oh dear , nobody has told him about about the Jaffa Malletts have they ?
Thomas : WHAT!!!!! You'll be telling me they are making screwdrivers out of something other than peperoni!!!!
xXBADGERXx : Preposterous idea , although , in the Gentlemans club the other afternoon I did hear some poppycock about Liquorice Files
Dawn : Ha ha, conversations between you two really make me laugh!
xXBADGERXx : (spoken in a posh voice) I say , does anyone have some spare Milk ? , I am making a picture frame made entirely out of Scrambled Eggs and missing a vital ingredient ... what what !!
Dawn : I have some pork sausages from which u could make a picture to put in your frame
xXBADGERXx : Pork ........... Pork sausages (mulls this offer over) , will you take a shiny Pfennig for them ? ...... I plan a marvellous "Bacon Sunrise"
xXBADGERXx : Over ..... may I hasten to add !! , a Sea of Beans nonetheless
Thomas : Damn these salad shoes, was going to bring you some souffle nails to hang your creation but have worn my radish soles right through!
Dawn : Bacon sunrise! You will be the 'toast' of the art world, how could i refuse to sell
xXBADGERXx : The Sausage Schooners will be afloat the Sea of Beans under a Bacon Sunrise with their Toasted Sails aloft
Dawn : Thomas, cheese strings would make a suitable shoe replacement and don't forget your hat of spaghetti hoops
Thomas : Bugger these shoes, gonna sit down and eat my tea. Boiled iron coffin nails on a freshly toasted roofing slate.
xXBADGERXx : I hope it is followed by a stout pudding of Red-Hot freshly smithed Horseshoes

Now from this random utterance of complete Bollox (none of us had alcohol and we don`t "Smoke" anything) I decided to fire up photoshop and actually create the picture , behold the Digital Brushstrokes of xXBADGERXx (Scrambled-Egg picture frame to arrive later)

Ladies and Gentlefolk , may I present to you "The Sea of Beans"





This picture makes me feel so so hungry , anyone for Buttered sails ?

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